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July 23, 2003
more sunsets
Five minutes @ Venice Beach
Posted by genex at 12:02 AM | Comments (0)
July 22, 2003
mecca
how perfect is this? there's even an Obey Giant sticker present!
Posted by genex at 12:56 PM | Comments (1)
July 21, 2003
Sunset strip
LA @ sunset
Posted by genex at 01:29 AM | Comments (0)
July 15, 2003
Taking a Dump at Work
I saw this taped to the back of a bathroom stall once during the dot.com boom when people had time to think of all these things. I imagine it's very "Office Space"-esque although I haven't seen the flick.
Anyhow, enjoy....
ASTAIRE
A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
CAMO-COUGH
A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
COURTESY FLUSH
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
CRACK WHORE
A crapper that has seen more ass than a Greyhound Bus. Telltale signs of a CRACK WHORE include pubes, piss stains and shit streaks. Avoid a CRACK WHORE at all cost. Try finding out when the janitor cleans each particular bathroom. Don't forget with a good cleaning, a CRACK WHORE can become a SAFE HAVEN.
ESCAPEE
A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic and embarrassment, similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee; it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
FLY BY
The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
HAVANA OMELET
A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an ESCAPEE. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.
JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE)
When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine-gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic; remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
OUT-OF-THE-CLOSET POOPER
A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER before entering the bathroom.
POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)
A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPERS and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVEN
A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR
A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
UNCLE TED
A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
WALK OF SHAME
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of a COURTESY FLUSH.
WATERMELON
A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WAERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
Posted by genex at 10:29 PM | Comments (0)
July 09, 2003
100% perfect girl...
I don't like the word perfect, since it's a state that seems a bit unrealistic in many forms... regardless, I had a conversation with my friend over dinner about dating, etc.
She suggested I check out a book "If the Buddha Dated" and we also talked about how relationships develop and grow and what it is about a partner that makes them ideal.
One thing I think I am going to do is figure out what traits I like in a person - what is most important to me, b/c now that I started thinking about it there are some things that are obvious but many more that I should probably think about in more detail.
Sounds like a fun exercise to me...
Here's what I have so far:
- mind/personality - must be open minded, not stress out on the small things, have big ideas and likes to talk deeply about the world, why we exist, etc.
- face - I must be able to look at her face and unfortunately I am too shallow minded to get past someone I don't find beautiful or at least not medusa-like (which of course begs the question, what does beautiful mean)
- enjoyments
- must be into music (or if not, be tolerant of my own musical tastes, since I can't live without it)
- enjoys dancing - because I do too
- can be spontaneous/adventurous and do things on the spur of the moment
- can be comfortable being dirty/away from it all
bonus:
- body - I like bigger girls - more hearty and built very sturdy (muscles are good)
OK, so there's my take on my 100% perfect girl, as Murakami would put it...
Posted by genex at 12:01 AM | Comments (1)
July 08, 2003
Gleeking
So today during lunch Andy accidentally gleeked but he called it gleet, so I had to wonder what the right word was for it.
I liked gleek and was hoping that was right since I like Gleek from the SuperFriends.
Apparently I was right and it is 'gleek' as I found here.
Posted by genex at 04:19 PM | Comments (13)
July 06, 2003
deja vu
so last night I totally had a type of deja vu.
I was shooting pix for the Kraft Kuts party at the Capella and at one point totally remembered being in the same situation. These things happen to me all the time. I guess there's a lot of glitches in the Matrix but I need to figure out a way to post them before they happen so I can verify that I have actually experienced the deja vu before.
Posted by genex at 04:06 PM | Comments (0)
July 01, 2003
greedo
I think everyone my age knows who Greedo is, and he was one of my favorite characters who lived a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
While doing some QA on our new functionality I had to think of somewhat clever things to post to our development server and in one scenario, I was wondering if Greedo had made it to the wedding since I hadn't seen him in any of the pix.
So of course I google greedo, and this page I found is fascinating...
I think my favorite thing is just to jack up the volume and hit reload to hear him speak... ah Greedo!
Posted by genex at 11:54 PM | Comments (0)